bad penguin jokes

you gotta love bad penguin jokes, right?

here's one that I found to be kinda sick and, therefore, pretty damn funny.

Badtux the Snarky Penguin: Bad penguin joke

Here are a few more I got from various websites: 

a man was driving down the highway with a car full of penguins. Penguins sticking out the windows, penguins coming out the sunroof, penguin everywhere. A cop pulled him over and told him if he didn't want a ticket he`d better take those penguins straight to the zoo. The man promised he would and drove off.  The next day, the same highway, the same car, the same guy, the same cop and the same penguins - only this time the penguins were all wearing sunglasses! The cop pulled the guy over and said, "I thought I told you to take these penguins to the zoo!""I did" said the guy, "Today I`m taking them to the beach!"

 What´s black and white and goes round and around? 

 A Penguin in a revolving door.
 

Q: Why don´t you see Penguins in Britain?
A: Because they´re afraid of Wales.
 

Q:  A Penguin´s favorite pop star?
A: Seal.  
 

Q: Why don´t Penguins like rock music?
A: They only like sole.

 

got any penguin jokes? i will post 'em here.  here's one not penguin related:

What does an old woman have between her breasts that a young woman doesn't?
 A navel.

bloody friday

get ready for it.  the new line is out and you can catch it  at zazzle, where you can find all of the bad penguin  merchandise.  get your bad penguin bags, shirts, aprons, key chains, ball caps, and beer mugs.  have a tall frosty one in a mug that’ll make all of your friends jealous. 

as for tonite’s premiere, sometimes I act out and the results can be bloody.  just don’t spill my beer and we’ll be just fine. 

holiday crap

     listen, the holidays are all about family, snow, food, lots of friggin eggnog, and smokes.  it's great.  you get enough whiskey in 'em, the folks start dancing around and cursing each other out.  winter's a great all around time to be a penguin. or whatever you are.
    i got just the perfect shirt and mug to complete your holiday happiness.  get one for yourself.  then be a good buddy and get one for a friend.

   

so i got going on the holiday's early this year and got my holiday line out already.   you can check out everything at  Zazzle.  but you can get a sneak peek here and now.  

don't forget i got something new for ya this Friday at midnight.  if you can stay up that long.

Be cool penguin by sanslumiere

Browse Cool T-Shirts

pity sex is the best

so, i'm at the bar horny as a toad, thinkin i'm gonna end up with my junk in my hand again tonite and i get a brilliant idea.  pity sex.  i played up my break up from psycho chick, you know, looking sad and shit, and this chick gets on board.  rubbing my arm and back.  pretty soon she was rubbing somethin else, you know.  hell i gotta try this more often, eh.

time travel proved! maybe..

okay check this out.  this filmmaker thinks he may have found a real time-traveller  talking on a cellphone,  taped in a  1928 Charlie Chaplin film. crazy right?  Maybe not, though. 


read the article and watch the video and tell me what you think:

what’s new, buttercup

looks like I have a new something or the other coming out this Friday at midnight. 
no preview this time, just know that i’m a bad bad penguin. i think you’ll enjoy it. 
until Friday, though, check out some of my products at Zazzle.  i got mugs and shirts and aprons and bags and all kinds of other  stuff. 
what’s more fun than getting a new beer mug?  getting one with my face on it.
if you don’t like what you see… eh, so what. 

Technorati Tags: drunk,penguin,vomit,bad bad penguin,new,zazzle,swag,black,red

del.icio.us Tags: drunk,penguin,vomit,bad bad penguin,new,zazzle,swag,black,red

let's get high

you ever been so high you threw up? uh, yeah, me neither.

i do love fish, but...

okay, ladies, just because i eat fish doesn't mean i want everything i eat to smell like it.  washing works.