penguin pimpin'

that's right baby i'm a superstar!

so the new Bad Penguin  Pimp line is a go.  if you haven't seen it check it out at Bad Penguin Apparel on http://zazzle.com/sanslumiere*.  my favorite is the beer mug.  nothing better than drinking a beer from a mug with my face on it.  i know you'll agree.   

uh, duh dude or his doll wife is not liked by his parents:

So this guy has a sex doll, i'm sorry, a $5,000 Real Doll wife and she starts to fall apart apparently "literally bed-ridden", so the guy  gets her repaired and re-incarnated into the newest $6,500 version.  okay, i'm not payin' for it if it's real, i'm sure as hell not payin' $10,000 for rubber.  Ha

Is that skeleton jacking off?

so cracked has this article about the six creepiest real places and yeah i'd rather cut my penguin jewels off than visit any of these crazy looking sites.  are you scared yet?  

We bones, lying here bare, are awaiting yours.  yeah that's not creepy at all

scientist details how to make zombies realistic

you gotta love it when even the Scientists get into zombies.  check out this article on Sy-fy.  You believe in zombies? they creep me out.  good thing there are no penguin zombies

Penguin Sneak Peek

here's a sneak peek of my new line coming out on Bad Penguin Apparel  this Friday.  it's friggin awesome,  right?  hit me back. tell me what you think

beer, good

you know how a good beer makes you really horny?  yeah, me neither.

my favorite things

nothing better than sex, a cig, and a cold beer.  not necessarily in that order. preferably all at the same time. yeah

Peeing funny

Man, don't you hate it when you go to pee and it won't come, then finally it does and you pee everywhere?  Yeah, me neither.

break up

so, i was mackin' on this hot chick with legs up to her neck at the new club and my girlfriend walks in with a couple of her friends.  shit.  I thought she was going to the movies and here they go walking into the club.    she's yelling and cursing and her crazy friends are egging her on.  what the hell is she doing there anyway, besides blowing my high?  and the new piece ran off as soon as the drama began.  so i didn't get laid that night.  i did get shit-faced.  but hey, ladies, the Penguin is single again.

i'm the Bad Penguin

hey, you may have heard of me, i'm the muthafuckin' Bad Penguin.  if you don't know me, chances are you're a moron.  i'm gonna school you about life.